Thursday, March 10, 2011

Answer to a reader's question regarding feeling frumpy .

Tznuis: Re :Feeling more Frumpy than frum

Hi ,

I also have lived in the middle of nowhere so I can completely relate to the issue of having to work harder on my look and how easy it is to "drop out or getting stuck in a rut" due to lack of choices ,so don't be so hard on yourself !!!

As a Fashion consultant I can give you a few tips so that you can feel happier and look better.

what you wear is a visual statement of who you are on the inside and the beauty of tzniut is that because the rules don't change it gives us the opportunity to develop our OWN look independent of following ONE trend from head to toe and becoming "fashion slaves" .
Instead we take whatever is decent and make it work to stay current but always tznius.
Lucky for us this year the mini skirt seems to be on the wane and there are amazing choices for long and midcalf styles, I'm posting inspiring looks often .

Fashion is actually quite fun once you get the hang of it ...and no,Tznius does not have to look like we are clones! that would be so depressing!

I by example have always been "Girly and Glam" (boa and tiara to kindergarten type) so by example I get my must have sparkles in earrings ,accesories and details in clothing ,I must have pink somewhere too..(you can use very brights in small doses and I love then in a belt ,bag or bangle) so I can stay true to ME without blowing the tznius factor ...LOL

You mentioned on your PM that since becoming a BT you don't recognize yourself in the mirror ,and just follow the chumbra du jour...

When we don't recognize ourselves in the mirror it means that we have "adopted" a look and lost ourselves, this is missing the point of tznius, as for chumros...ask your LOR and find your confort zone, so you don't take on more than you can handle and has v' shalom burn out ,IMO gradual steady growth is allways best.

To see yourself in the mirror and like what you see means you have "found " YOUR look and reclaimed yourself being ,stylish ,fun and tznua is totally "doable".

So ,lets get started

sit down and take the time to identify your personal style.... we all have one!....ask yourself :

*what colours are you most drawn to? ask your DH what colors he likes you best in too!

*Are you into a modern/minimalist = no ruffles clean lines ,no patterns except geometric.
* romantic/girly =ruffles ,pink ,skirts with volume and femenine or "cute" details.

* Artistic/funky/bohemian = creative cut knit suits , crinkle textures ,ethnic inspired,earth tones,interesting patterns etc .

*Sporty/casual/preppy = hoodies,denim,polo shirts , love lacoste or RL , classic shirts v-necks and timeless argyle (this look works best if you keep it preppy otherwise it can move to sloppy pretty fast).

*Identify your body type and dress for it e.g a woman with curvy thights looks always lovely on a A-line skirt, wrap shirts flatter a large bust....etc ,etc!
I have a entry on dressing for different body types right here.

BTW Shorter women can look lost in a long denim and oversize hoodies ! a better choice would be shorter skirt and a more fitted top as it is more streamlined and elongating.

* Surf the web and visit sites like mine :) and use It for Ideas.

* once you identify your style and get confortable you will even be able to venture into vintage and thrift stores with confidence (if that is your thing,I love finding the original style on dresses and skirts ) is pricey but personal style is priceless ! once you know what works for you the sky is the limit !

Also VERY important ....

* Treat your Shaitel as an accesory and try to accumulate at least 3 over time (as they can be pricey)

have 3 different styles A glamour one for DH ,simchas and Yom Tovs , a everyday work one, and a funky one( shorter or a fall) for days when you feel you need a "change" , I have long hair and my funky one is shorter and has a more choppy look .

If it gets brassy fix it !!! I listed a good product here on an earlier entry.

All the best and feel free to ask away ,I'm happy to help!

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